Look at her face, so beautiful. Look at her thighs talking to me with devilish tones. How can I prove that I am not just another or like the others? I’ll take her to dinner, look her straight in the eyes, and tell her I can Love her. I’ll put my heart on the table, hoping she can digest it, and it becomes her main course. She smiles. At that moment I commit to that smile. Doing everything in my power to keep it alive. I feed her my passion. Expression my intentions for us to live a better existence than the last place she existed. Everything goes silence but the forks and spoons clacking against everyone’s teeth. She looks across the table in fear, when I thought I said something that would bring joy. I guess she has been hurt so many times that the thought of commitment seems like a prison. I guess I am yet another man attempting to steal her freedom. But, I thought that’s what I was offering. A chance to build something we can hope for daily and make actual every moment. She smiles again. This one is different. Seems she noticed I was serious and didn’t want to dim my light. Is this Love? Sparing the truth of our hearts to suppress the honesty of the facts in the moment. I grinned back, allowing her to see that I can connect in some way. The lies start. Words weren’t spoken but our bodies spoke a language against our souls. The subject changes, the bell has rung, and its time to walk to the next class. The check is placed on the table. We look at one another. She looks at the check then me than the check again. My wallet leaves my back pocket covering our bellies as well as what was left unsaid. She smiles yet again. This time I can see the approve in the wrinkles surrounding her eyes. She knew I wanted more and was making me pay for it. We walk out of the restaurant. Can we walk off this food? I ask with hope in the root of my throat. She looks me in the face and said it is getting late. I knew separate cabs was the next step. My hand goes out to catch her a cab, realizing I started speaking her language the moment I stopped being vulnerable and started guessing. In that moment I realized this is The Male Experience.
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